i always thought that I'm okay with it I'm just fine with it.
but only until today then i realized that I'm not okay with it I'm seriously not okay with it. I mind a lot a lot everytime people say things about me i just think that i never heard it or rather i don't really care about it its just some sound coming out from their mouth but today i realized that I'm wrong, really wrong. But for that i hope just because I've heard it for many years i don't feel like caring about it anymore cause i have more important things to do.
but not only them, even the old ones do that to me. even though they never say things about me but they seriously "cared" about me. everytime i have his lesson he will ask me have i done his work and i said i only do it until here then the next thing he would say is YOU ARE SO SLOW, EVERYONE ELSE HAVE ALREADY DONE THIS AND DOING THE  NEXT THING ALREADY, FASTER DO AND DON'T WASTE TIME! then i would be always thinking has everyone done this as in everyone the whole class? has everyone? then i would look around trying to search for people who are slower than me then i will be finding a lot of them slower than me why does he have to say this to me. maybe he wants to make me do thing faster? if its so why not tell this to the whole class or rather other people? why only me? i HATE it when he say I'm SLOW and I'm slacking when I'm not!! I'm not!! maybe not all the time at least most of the time I'm NOT!! its like very obvious that people are slower than me people are still doing their first week's homework and I'm not and so why call me SLOW. he says that we must respect others but i don't think he did even respect other and he is teaching us respect why would there be people like this?? sometimes you may just think that its just words from your mouth and you don't really want to mean it but things may just hurt people in their heart and just affect their entire life.
i had this misunderstanding 3 years back people say that I'm saying bad things about them and they just trying to avoid me and don't be friend with me, this led to me being more and more and more emo and hence till now I'm still emoing even though we are still "friends" but i really don't know which identity am i going to use to be their friend. who just am i?? sometimes it just so close yet so far!!
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